Zelman attended New York University's Graduate Acting Program at the Tisch School of the Arts, graduating in 1993. He is Jewish.
In 1990, Zelman met Debra Messing at New York University, when they were both students. Zelman and Messing married on September 3, 2000, and have a son, Roman Walker Zelman, who was born on April 7, 2004. On December 20, 2011, it was announced that Zelman and Messing were ending their eleven-year marriage.
Messing filed for divorce on June 5, 2012. On March 1, 2016, the divorce was officially completed.
